Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Hmmm diabolic really

I think it is only in Sri Lanka that a rustling of a bag, and a noise under your bed can freeze you into a little quivering jelly. "I am sure it is a snake" (a tentative peering under mattress by hanging head upside down from bed)..."Oh maaaan if I put my feet down now it might bite me" (feet hurriedly swung back onto bed. A few seconds pass - just feel I have to go to the loo)...."Oh geeeeez it must be snake come in out of the heat for some coolness" (even though my house is far hotter inside than it is outside; there is an element of 'goodbye, logic' here)..."Aaaarrrghhh it might get onto the bed" (Remembering some horrible film about unexpected but true stories of a snake creeping into a man's bed...Frantic lowering and manic tucking in of the sides of the mosquito net, that is now a snake excluder. Terrible horror in remembering that the aforementioned snake got in despite the net)

Silence now reigns. No rustles. A sigh of relief. Must have not been a snake...must be just an insect then. A visible exhaling of strangled breath. A lie back on the pillows. Relax. Decide I can go to the loo now. Lower legs blithely off the bed and flounce off to the loo. I saunter back.

Three feet away from the bed and "rustle rustle rustle". A leap backwards almost falling over the stool. "Ohmygodohmygod...there IS a snake". Freeze. "Oh goodgrief don't move because if it is a viper it will leap out at you" (no fairmindedness or sportsmanship with your average likes the attack...the element of 'take em by surprise'). A measured step forward and a frantic leap across the remaining 2 ft into bed. The bed shudders and shakes. You dive under the net and tuck up frantically. "Oh geeez it might bite my hand from under the bed" (Snatch hand back from tucking in the net). Heart beat like the annual army tattoo.

I settle down for a peaceful night of dreamless sleep.

Morning. Mother - "you were screaming in your sleep...I couldn't stop you"

Oh well you can hardly call it a boring life can you?

Monday, September 03, 2007

Snakes in the Sky

You are really not going to believe it but I saw Nagini floating in the sky! No really. You know the great big evil snake that lounges around Lord Voldermort in a slithery gut slitting vomitous way. If you read the scene of her floating there in her little safe magic bubble - that picture is quite startling - you have to hand it to JKR, that was one of the most ghastly evocative scenes I have read.

So there was this writhing snake. All those shivers, and curving sinuous snaking movements, the flicking head etc. I FROZE. For a moment, I don't know what I thought. It didn't help that the background for it was perfect - a black sky, promising thunder and lightening, and that dull shine of prerain skies.

WHO in their right minds would fashion a kite out of black - make it several feet long and the exact image of a flipping snake?! For a few moments I thought I lost a few lifetimes as I stood watching it. I mean I am phobic with snakes so having one floating above me in curvy wavy subtle slithery moves was hardly a joyous experience.

Some people need their heads examined. Really