Hmmm diabolic really

Arrrgghhh.
I think it is only in Sri Lanka that a rustling of a bag, and a noise under your bed can freeze you into a little quivering jelly. "I am sure it is a snake" (a tentative peering under mattress by hanging head upside down from bed)..."Oh maaaan if I put my feet down now it might bite me" (feet hurriedly swung back onto bed. A few seconds pass - just feel I have to go to the loo)...."Oh geeeeez it must be snake come in out of the heat for some coolness" (even though my house is far hotter inside than it is outside; there is an element of 'goodbye, logic' here)..."Aaaarrrghhh it might get onto the bed" (Remembering some horrible film about unexpected but true stories of a snake creeping into a man's bed...Frantic lowering and manic tucking in of the sides of the mosquito net, that is now a snake excluder. Terrible horror in remembering that the aforementioned snake got in despite the net)...

Silence now reigns. No rustles. A sigh of relief. Must have not been a snake...must be just an insect then. A visible exhaling of strangled breath. A lie back on the pillows. Relax. Decide I can go to the loo now. Lower legs blithely off the bed and flounce off to the loo. I saunter back.

Three feet away from the bed and "rustle rustle rustle". A leap backwards almost falling over the stool. "Ohmygodohmygod...there IS a snake". Freeze. "Oh goodgrief don't move because if it is a viper it will leap out at you" (no fairmindedness or sportsmanship with your average viper...it likes the attack...the element of 'take em by surprise'). A measured step forward and a frantic leap across the remaining 2 ft into bed. The bed shudders and shakes. You dive under the net and tuck up frantically. "Oh geeez it might bite my hand from under the bed" (Snatch hand back from tucking in the net). Heart beat like the annual army tattoo.

I settle down for a peaceful night of dreamless sleep.

Morning. Mother - "you were screaming in your sleep...I couldn't stop you"

Oh well you can hardly call it a boring life can you?