"am" at a.m

Existential questions are a b***** nuisance, especially in the middle of the night. I am sitting up wondering "what makes me...me" and "who am I". "I thnk therefore I am" is what Descartes said - but thinking hasn't given me much "am" so far even though it is a.m!

Was thinking about whether we construct ourselves everyday - creating wonderful and varied "i"s and "me"s. And are these the "real" or just surface constructions like drama masks that we gotta wear for the parts we play.

Maybe the trick is to learn to create ourselves less and to let God do the creating more! Maybe the people we love and trust have a hand in creating who we are meant to become?!

I think I should sleep. It is after all morning now.